Why do I do this?

I'm so tired of letting others change my perception of myself. Constantly someone can say something and make me feel like I'm not good enough. This often hurts the most when I'm very close to this person. I know who I am, and 99% of the time I know that I'm good enough, but it's that 1% that is bothering me tonight. I just feel like I'm not good enough for a guy, or my friends, or even for the career I want. It's these low moments that make me miss my family the most. My mom would sit with me on the couch, and listen to me for as long as I needed her to. My brother would listen, then do something stupid to make me laugh. And my dad would just inspire me because he's such a rock for the family. But here I am, away at school, feeling alone and not good enough. I almost feel silly saying how much I need them. I mean, I'm almost 20 years old for goodness sake. But it's just I feel I need them most when I'm feeling down, which I have been feeling for a couple days. I just hate that I do this to myself. I'm not feeling too hot, then something happens that upsets me, and then I'm right here, feeling gross and not good enough. Then I stay in a gross funk for a few days until I just snap out of it and get over myself.


But then I admit to my friend, Cricket, that I'm unhappy, and I tell her why I'm unhappy. Then because she's amazing, she understands how I feel and makes me feel better. I could easily thank God everyday for friends like her. I love you honey, and thank you for putting a smile back on my face. :)