Something I have never done in my life

I am embarking on a journey that it seems like I should have started long ago: I am dating. Now this seems weird at my age. But I'm not just dating, I'm trying online dating. For the last month, I have been a member of a popular and free dating website, because I frankly don't meet many available men through m job or in my limited free time. At first I was ashamed of trolling the internet looking for a mate, but I have since come to terms with it. It actually is a really great way to talk to new people and meet prospective men. But what makes it so exciting is that I never have truly dated before. I have been on a hand full of first dates in my life, and rarely if at all a second date. This is not to say that all my relationships were 'failures to launch'. The few men I have dated to the serious point of calling them my boyfriend have been from my circle of friends. In these situations, we'd go on a date, decide to be exclusive and there we'd be. Recently though, at the ripe old age of 23 I had the first second date I can remember going on and the very first third date of my life. He's sweet and kind, but there is no hurry or rush, and we really don't know each other very well. And this week coming up I'm going to have another blind date. It is very interesting to note the changes in the way my thinking has changed regarding this 'dating' business. It is totally unimportant to jump headlong into things and for things to get super serious at once. And as long as everyone is honest, it is okay to go on dates with different men and the same time. For the first time in my life I feel incredibly confident in my commodity as a desirable partner. I should have tried this ages ago.

Labels

Today I've been musing over the labels given to us by society and by ourselves.  Sometimes a label is helpful in defining who we are, or why we are they way that we are.  However, everyone is familiar with the way that labels can hinder our growth or make us see ourselves in a negative fashion.  A pastor in my life today gave a sermon in which she defined herself by labels of both a helpful and hurtful nature.  I thought the exercise would be an interesting thing to try, so here we go!

I am a single, straight, white, female in her early twenties.  I am disabled.  I am the product of a middle class, white privileged family.  I am also the product of a liberal yet traditionally valued mother and a conservative but loving father.  I have held a job for most of my life starting near the age of eight, and I have had success holding these jobs for long periods of time.  I am well educated and a hard worker.  I am part of the tattooed population.  I am considered an artist by some and talented by others.  I am in debt.  I am not a home owner.  I am too young to be called experienced, but too old for college phases of exuberance.  I am an ally.  I am also a Christian.  Recently I've found out that I am a cat lover.  I'm a best friend, and an aunt by heart.  I'm a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a niece.  I'm a volunteer.  I'm an ex-fiancee.  Some might even call me a survivor.  But truly only two labels in my entire life truly matter: I am a child of God, and I am love.

Hmm, that was pretty fun. :)

Yet another year begins

It seems that the general attitude towards New Years Eve/Day is that last year was awful and so everyone is excited to begin a new one.  I usually have this same idea, but this year is so very different.  2013 was a great year for me.  I became more comfortable with myself and all my faults.  I feel like I give less thoughts and worries to things that are beyond my reach of change.  I have made some amazing friends, and reconnected with old friends.  Many beautiful days were mine to be had.  My choir has become my family.  I have a great home that is all mine.  I have faults, but all in all I am a beautiful and loving person.  And I have finally gotten to a place where I can say I love me, and if you don't that's fine but please be nowhere near me.  It's only taken 23 years to get here, but I really dig the view.