Useless Musings

So, occasionally I like to think about impossible things. I sometimes refer to these 'what ifs' as the result of my musing time. Usually these impossible thoughts come from days like today, where I did almost nothing and was by myself the whole day so I had plenty of time to think. I've firmly decided that if I could take back the last ten years of my life, I'd do it in a heartbeat. This is not a statement that I've regretted the last ten years of my life, it's just my way of saying that if I could be a perpetual ten year old I would. I know that you're probably thinking, 'but isn't that a giant leap backward, and I thought you were so proud of the person you are', and don't get me wrong, I've thought about it. I am proud of who I am, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't give up the life I have now to re-embrace the carefree ten year old I once was. I decided upon ten because I feel like that's when I had to start facing the world as the harsh place I've found it to be. Ten was before I experienced death for the first time with my grandmother, ten was before my cousin moved in and threatened to tear my family apart, it was before I realized how little my dad's mother cared about me, it was before I found out about death, disease, and drugs. At the same time, I believe that if everyone was given the chance to pick a simpler age to spend the rest of their life at, we'd have most of the population under the age of thirteen. Maybe it's just because I'm looking back on it, but I do truly miss the pressure-less existence that I experienced as a kid. Luckily, I don't think that there will ever be a time when we can just stop ourselves at a certain age, and even then the harsh world would still find us. I guess the trick is to just not look back, because then you increase your chances of getting hit in the face with something in the present. See the ridiculous things I think about when I'm left to my own devices? Just another day of useless musings.