A Contradictory Creature

Lately I've been feeling like there's two seperate people inside my body. Almost like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of situation. Some days I can't stand people in general and I absolutely need to be alone. Other days, like right now, I feel like I need people because I'm so painfully lonely. And I can't seem to make up my mind about anything. This semester is going to be over in less than three weeks, and part of me is so excited because I'm ready for a break, and part of me is wishing that the semester would keep going because I have nothing lined up for my summer yet. It's my fault that I don't even have a job yet for summer, because I let my professor destroy my confidence and didn't even apply for an internship. On top of that, I just can't seem to make a clear decision on anything, even if it's completely unimportant. It seems beyond me to even decide what to eat for lunch. It makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with me? If I can't make decisions now, what's it going to be like when I actually have to make difficult decisions? I used to be able to hear what my heart was telling me to do under all the other noise of what my mind was telling me to do, and what other people were telling me what to do. Now I can't hear it. Did my heart catch laringitis, or have I been not paying attention to it long enough that it quit giving me advice? Is this why I can't make a decision, or is this why there's two different girls fighting inside my brain? I wish I could just figure out why there is so much conflict within myself. Is there conflict within everyone and it just seems like mine is overwhelming? But more important than any of my other questions, how do I bite the bullet and let everything work itself out when I'm not even happy where I'm at anymore?