Ourselves vs. Others

How come it is so very easy for us to tell when someone else isn't fulfilling their full potential? You know, everyone has that friend that is so talented, but it working a terrible job where their talents are wasted. Or that friend that dates so far beneath them that it almost makes you sick.

I have a cousin who I've looked up to my entire life because she was such a strong female role model for me. She's been working dead-end jobs her whole life, and hasn't been taking good care of herself for the past several years. She smokes and hasn't tried to get a better job. I hate seeing her at Christmas and Thanksgiving because she just looks a little worse each time I see her. It breaks my heart knowing that such a strong woman has been chewed up by the world and has been spit out a mere shell of her former self. She deserves so much more from her life than she's getting, and she just doesn't see it.

And I have this friend, let's call him Big Red, that is a great guy. Well, we were at a dance this weekend and he was all over a particular girl. She's nice and everything, but she's just not good enough for him. Maybe he's settling, or maybe he's just lonely, but it doesn't seem fair to sell yourself so short.

All this brings me to the 'vs. ourselves' part. We constantly as human beings sell ourselves short. We tell ourselves, "We don't deserve someone as good as them", or "I don't deserve that promotion at work", or even "I don't deserve to have a job simply because it makes me happy". Screw all that! You as an individual deserve anything and everything that you are willing to work for. At the same time, I have to laugh quietly to myself because I can't take my own advice. I settle, I feel worthless at times, I even try to tell myself that I deserve so little so that I feel better about what I have. What is so different about seeing things in others and seeing things within yourself? You say things to yourself that if a friend told you the same thing you'd berate them for being so down on themselves. There is a double standard that we put in place between us and those that we care about. I can only ask why don't we care enough about ourselves to break down the double standard and work for what we deserve?