Moving on

To put it incredibly simply, Banana Boy is dense. I told him twice that I liked him, yet he didn't get what I meant until I spelled it out for him. Needless to say, he doesn't feel the same. It's funny, but I kinda don't feel deterred at all. Like, I need him enough in my life that it doesn't bother me at all, because at least he's still there. However, it makes me even more scared that I told him all this personal stuff and that he's just going to leave me in the dust and take my secrets with him. I feel completely ridiculous for how little I trust guys to be my friends, but when it comes to relationships I give them my heart without thinking twice. Mostly though, I hate that I trust him so much when he's around, but when I'm by myself I feel like I can't believe him. Worse than that, I can't tell him that I'm completely scared that he's going to hurt me like most of my other guy friends. Why can't people just treat me the way I deserve to be treated, than I won't have all this second guessing crap going on in my head?