Men.

You'd think relationships with men would be easier than women. They don't thrive on drama, they tell you exactly why they're mad, and their sense of humor is easier to tap into. However, it's recently dawned on me that I don't have very good relationships with the guys in my life. As long as we keep them superficial, everything goes great, it's the minute things get real that the proverbial spaghetti hits the fan. I'm not super close with my dad, and all the other male members of my family, with the exception of my brother, live far away. But it's really the guy friends I've had in my life that really have messed up my ideas about men. I was friends with this guy since we were in the second grade. Then one day out of the blue, he showed me a heroin track scar and laughed about it. I haven't spoken to him since then, and that was about four years ago. Any time I get a very close guy friend, he either leaves me or I put way more into the relationship than I get back. Now, I've made a new friend, let's call him Banana Boy. I haven't known him very long, but we're already super close. I'm really afraid that he's going to leave like the rest of them; however, he seems completely different. It's mostly that I've never met another guy that is so easy to open up to, and I feel like he really knows me and understands me for who I am. That's the scariest part of all, what if he really sees me for who I am, and hates me for what he sees. Then I opened up my heart to some kid who played with it, then stomped it into the mud. I guess I just need to have the faith that he won't be like a lot of the other men in my life and leave me with an open sore wound where my heart used to be. But where in this big world am I supposed to find that kind of faith in a man?