Because I feel like I should

I've continued trying to date. Not because I want to, because I feel like it is expected of me. I feel like four months out of a break up one is supposed to be committed to trying to find another life mate. But it doesn't feel right. I made a mess of a situation with this guy. He's nice and everything, and I do like him, but I hate myself more for how I feel I've treated him. He has no idea that I'm still in love with my ex, or that I'm still harboring ideas of marrying him eventually. We've been on a couple dates, and he kissed me, but it felt like I was cheating on Tye Dye. I cried and debated the whole way home about whether or not to tell Tye Dye, but decided no because what would that actually accomplish? I don't want to be lonely and unhappy anymore, but everything I feel like I should be trying to do is making things worse. And this might sound absolutely silly, but I feel like I've been getting signs from God. Maybe you call it the universe but you know what I'm talking about. It seems like every time I'm in the car I hear a song about waiting for love or struggling with love through the bad times. It is true that these songs are incredibly popular right now which explains them being overplayed right now, but they very obviously change the way I feel. The first time I heard 'I won't give up' I felt this overwhelming peace and understanding. I can't imagine that this is just a coincidence, I feel like it was a sign that if I can be strong enough we'll be together again someday. Perhaps I'm just delusional, or perhaps it's true but either way it is helping me with everything that's happened.