I guess it's about time for some semi-profound thoughts

I guess I really haven't been feeling so introspective lately, which is why I haven't written since April. But also, not a lot has happened. I moved to Tulsa for the summer. And this has led me to call this the 'Summer of Insight'. I'm working for a company that I don't intend on returning to. I like most of the people I work with, but the company overall has some communication issues that drive me bonkers. And I'm living in this sort of limbo because I know that I'm getting my job at home back, but now I don't have an apartment so it will be a mad dash to get one when I get back. But more than just that I'm kind of dreading seeing Tye Dye again. I haven't seen him since October, and I haven't spoken to him since March. However, now that I'm mostly over being super pissed off that he forgot my birthday, I'm kinda missing him again. I feel like that just can't be healthy at this point in the game. We're going on a year of being broken up here, but this damn wound seems to refuse to heal. More than any of this that has me kind of nervous, I'm upset with myself. I have realized that I've become a bitter person. Before I feel like I was delightfully cynical with a dark sense of humor, but now I honestly cannot stand some people. It's like my brain has shut off that part of itself where I can remember what it was like to be 17 and super excited about a job, or how it feels to be 19 and away from home for the first extended period of time. I constantly catch a little voice in the back of my head saying 'I don't care', or 'Why don't you shut the hell up?' I hate that this is what I've become. I'm not sure if it is the unsatisfactory working conditions that make me feel this way or if this is a new facet to my personality, but I really hate it. I can't help but wonder, what happened to the lively young woman I was? Where did she go? Is she still around, or did the world stomp her to death? I know that I'm the only one in control of my attitude, but I'm feeling less and less in control all the time. Is everything spinning out from under me, or am I just using it as an excuse to think bad things about people I don't particularly like?